Stellaride Episode Inserts Season 5
by RT219
Summary: Episode Inserts written for Season 5 - written for the Stellaride Pairing


5x01 The Hose or the Animal – Part One

Stella stood stock still in her bedroom, the plastic of Grant's hospital bracelet felt cold against her fingertips. How long ago had he been there? How long had he stayed?

Where had he been all this time? Where had he gone?

Letting out a breath, she called Dr. Charles back and got a receptionist. "Would you like to leave a message for Dr. Cha-"

"Yes, please. Um… just tell him that I called… that Stella called and I think… no, I know that Grant was in my apartment after he left the hospital." She looked down at the bracelet. "That's all, I guess. If you could tell him that-" the alarm on her phone pinged and she muttered under her breath. "Yeah, that's all. Thanks."

She hung up and raced to grab her bag and her clothes. Looking at her phone she knew she didn't have time to grab a shower and make it through traffic on time for shift.

"Damnit."

She pulled on her pants, put on her boots, and switched shirts, picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "This is going to suck, big time."

She left her apartment, heard the satisfying click of the lock and stopped short. What difference did the lock make? Grant apparently had a key. How? She didn't know… but he did.

Stella made a mental note to call a locksmith and ran down the stairs to the ground level. Pushing open the door she squinted into the bright sunlight. "Ugh, mornings."

Shifting her coat on her arm she stepped out toward the street and stopped again. She looked up one side of the street and down the other. No Grant.

 _Okay. Breathe._

Still, she took her keys and let some of them slip between her fingers. It wasn't something she normally did. Her neighborhood was a good one. Even at night, she rarely felt like she had to watch that closely to the world around her, but she'd be crazy to say she wasn't just a little worried.

 _Don't be crazy. He's not going to hurt you._

She opened her car and climbed inside, taking a quick look in the backseat first, and checking the mirrors for more than cars before she pulled out onto the street.

 _Get a hold of yourself, Stella_.

#

It was only too easy to forget about Grant when the first call rolled in. School Bus calls got everyone running for the rigs. The idea of kids in danger wasn't easy for any of them. It's not like they didn't rush off for any call, of course they did, but the idea of kids being hurt? That wasn't going to go unanswered for a second longer than it needed to.

But back in 51 after the call, when she felt her phone jump to life, she dug it out and listened to Dr. Charles. "I've alerted Chicago PD."

"I don't think-"

Dr. Charles wasn't going to listen. Not about this. And somewhere down deep she knew he was right to worry, but she couldn't seem to see 'this' Grant as the same man that she'd married. The same man who had seen her through getting sober. The same man who could be so sweet and kind.

"Hey," she almost winced when she heard Kelly's voice.

He wasn't going to like this one bit.

And why should he? Lord knows she wasn't happy about it either. If almost dying hadn't been enough for Grant to use it as a wakeup call, what would?

#

"I think I left my iPad in my car," she got up from the table, not because she really needed the iPad. No. The room was a bit too quiet for her own good. Quiet meant that she might do something stupid, like open her mouth and say something… about Grant. And then where would she be. Kelly wasn't going to be okay with it. He was already worried and upset.

And she certainly didn't blame him.

Walking out of the apparatus bay door, she felt a shudder pass through her. It felt like someone was… someone was watching her.

Well, she wasn't going to give in to her silly thoughts. She was going to keep her gaze straight ahead. Focused.

By the time she had the door open and found herself crawling onto the driver's seat it was back. That feeling. That cold shadow passing over her, touching the back of her neck.

No iPad in the back.

Pull your shit together, Stella.

Switching to the front of the car she felt under the passenger seat. Nothing.

Nothing but something shivering through her that said to watch her back. The problem was, she'd been here before. Been worried about leaving her back open. Years ago. When she was learning to keep safe on the streets. When she wasn't sober. When she wasn't in control of her life.

Her fingers found the edge of her iPad and pulled it free before she slid back and out of the car and-

"Jeez-"

 _Shit._

 _It was Kelly._

She held onto the thought like a lifeline.

 _Kelly._

"You all right?"

There were so many answers to that question.

 _Am I all right? Hell no._

 _Am I all right? I want to be._

 _Am I all right? I will be if you hold me. Or let me hold you._

 _Oh God, what's happening to me?_

 _Am I all right?_ _No. I'm a basket case. I'm afraid and I don't know how to say it and still hold myself together._

"Yeah, no, I'm- I'm fine. I just left this in my car."

 _Oh great, lie. Yep, that's the easy answer. And the wrong one._

 _What else was I going to do? Admit that I didn't have my shit together?_

 _Uh- no thanks…_


End file.
